Saturday, July 20, 2013

Dealing with exclusion

You know what sometimes homeschooling really does have it's setbacks. The long days when you aren't feeling well, and dealing with friendships. See when you are sticking your children with other kids all day five days a week they will generally form a bond with one another. It is different when homeschooling, they don't see the same kids everyday. It depends on the activity and where you are as to who there is to interact with. I strive very hard most days to get the boys out and about. They are very social kids and they have no qualms with playing with anyone else.

The problem is trying to help create that bond. Most people search for the solid friendship with another human being. Most people look for their best friend. Sure in the younger years your best friend may only last a few weeks, but it is an important relationship building experience.



Now I live where there are apparently lots of kids but you don't see them. Any of them, seriously. I can throw rocks at an elementary school from my front door and except for morning and after school I really don't see other children. Sure when we go over to the park there may be one or two but there isn't a ton. I have tried connecting with other families in the homeschooling. It seems that connecting is hard and limited. At least for us. The strange thing is we have a very fluid schedule. It feels like others just don't want to connect with us. :(

It is hard knowing that you are being excluded. It is even harder knowing that your child is being excluded. When that sweet smiling face looks at you wanting to know if they can go play with the other child and you have to tell them that they are busy. Then they hear at the next group gathering how they  were playing with another child. Then he looks at you with his loving kind blue eyes and asks why don't they want to be his friend and play with him anymore. I have to smile back at him and tell him that I have no idea. I really don't.

Some people think that homeschooling you will be free of bullying and peer exclusion. They are wrong. You can limit it, but it can almost be worse. Not only is another child excluding your child, but their parents are actively facilitating it. It sucks, it really does.

As a victim of excessive bullying, I strive to teach my children to be kind to others. It pains me when he doesn't understand why others are unkind. It just doesn't come to him, he wants to play with everyone. I guess I just live in a slightly different world from those around me.

Have you had to deal with your child being intentional excluded? How did you deal with it?

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